Friendship is something almost all of us indulge in but i don’t know if there is someone out there who understands it fully. There are so many times when all my logic fails. From making friends to keeping them, nothing makes sense. This is how i see all of us making friends…. I like to call this thought the Circle Of Trust (COT).
When we are young, vibrant and innocent we don’t have many screening stages before we let someone enter the circle(COT). We usually welcome all those who want to come in and especially the ones who don’t kick us in the balls and steal our lunch box. At that stage in our life the size of the circle is huge, it can even fit in the entire cricket and football team for some of us. But as we grow old and smart(hypothetically) we start understanding how people function and how they don’t. We don’t realize it but, subconsciously we put up so many screening formalities in our head that hardly anyone is able to get through them and reach the Circle Of Trust. That is why we make fewer friends as we grow up, and this is exactly why you should hold on to your school(8th-12th) or college friends coz 1) The screening process at that time in our life is just right, not too strong and not too weak. and 2) coz the older you get the lesser the chance of you making better friends.
It is ironical but the older you get the smarter you get (for most) and the smarter you get, the lesser you trust. And so it again comes down to how complicated friendship actually is.
Let me start with one of the most cliched statements about friendship ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. Does it mean that others are not? So basically are you supposed to be there ALL THE TIME ? Well OK. That’s possible but only till the time you are not in a relationship, coz once that happens the ‘need’ and ‘indeed’ go for a toss. Why is it that a friend who you have known all your life, who you have loved all your life, who in one word is your ‘Best’ friend suddenly becomes ‘just another’ friend? I really want to find the answer to this.
You have loved your friend, cared for him/her, accepted them the way they are and have never asked them to change, then WHY the FUCK do they change for that all important person who suddenly comes in their life. So now even being a best friend is not enough, you also need to be loved by the friend’s special friend coz if you are not then what you will hear is ” No yaar, you will always be my best friend, no matter what but, you know he/she doesn’t like to see me hanging out with you. I hope you understand”. WHAT THE FUCK YAAR!!! why should i understand, Why the fuck can’t he/she understand instead of me?
These are the things that eat my head very often and i have been unable to find an answer to this for so long. After thinking about all this what i now understand of friendship is very different from what my initial thoughts were.
You meet someone and become friends. You start getting along really well and spend a lot of time together. Then it comes down to telling each other what you did the whole day, which guy stared, which girl was wearing a very small skirt and so on. Then you become dependent on each other. Once that happens, you start to share a special bond.
But how do you qualify as a great friend or a best friend. Its not that easy as It takes a lot out of you in most cases. You start by just being there at each others side at most times. Then you learn to handle the situations where your friend does not want you to be there (i know its complicated 🙂 ). And when your friend finds that special friend, then you just be there whenever they have a fight or an argument coz otherwise he/she will not have the time.
How are you supposed to hang on to your old friend in such a case? How are you to tell yourself to understand when in reality you don’t want to understand. How do you let go of your teenage friendship, I have no idea and once again i am where i started. I guess friendship is just not meant to be understood. At least not yet, not just yet.